Into the 120's

Finally! Another couple of pounds gone. I'm now 129... 12lbs down!

Yesterday my husband and I pulled ALL of my clothes out of my closet and I tried everything on. If it fit, it went back in; if it was too big it went to Goodwill. He was the judge; I am not to be trusted. I will wear clothes forever. Just add a belt! There were a precious few things that I love so much, I just couldn't part with them. So he made me promise to alter them to my new size right away. He's also taking me on a shopping spree when I'm all done because he knows I would never spend the kind of money he does on clothes, and he thinks I deserve them.

The biggest "oh-my-gosh" moment to date was yesterday, when I put on a pair of jeans that I finally slipped back into just a week or so ago. They looked great then, and if that was as far as I got I would still have been happy. But I put them on yesterday and they were HANGING off me. I'm not kidding - I was shocked speechless. Mouth hanging open, hands to my face, tears in my eyes, SHOCKED. Wow!

It's really easy to be too critical of ourselves, or see ourselves as chubbier than we actually are (in extremis it's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder - think of anorexics who really believe they're still fat, even though they are skeletal - I've been there). So I'm keeping those jeans, and anytime I'm not sure if my body has really changed that much, I'll put them on again and shock myself back to reality.

The only regret I have so far is that my butt is disappearing... I loved my big butt! And getting it back will be TORTURE. Hundreds and hundreds of lunges, squats, jumping stairs... groan! Please, when I'm dying of sore legs and tush and can barely stand up to work, will someone remind me to go and put those old jeans on again?!

I'm still plateau-ing every other day, which is totally frustrating. It turns up the volume on the voice in my head that tells me to quit. But I'm way too stubborn for that. I said I would do this and I will!